Have you ever met someone who was facing incredible adversity in their lives and yet somehow maintained a positive outlook? Have you wished to be like them, able to stay strong and happy in the face of any challenge in your life?
The problem with always focusing on the end goal of “happiness” is that you will end up trapped in a constant search for it. Actively searching for happiness will make you unhappy.
Happiness is a Paradox
Science has shown that happiness, while the end goal of many people, is actually somewhat paradoxical in nature. People who made finding happiness their priority reported 35% less satisfaction with their life, experienced 50% less positive emotions and had an overwhelming 75% more depression symptoms than those who focused on other goals and priorities.
Americans especially fall prey to this phenomenon. It’s in our nature, as even the Declaration of Independence guarantees the pursuit of happiness as an “inalienable right”. However, Iris Mause, a UC Berkley professor studying happiness, has said “... valuing happiness could be self-defeating because the more people value happiness, the more likely they will feel disappointed.” This point is proven over and over again with countless studies and examinations: those who value happiness more reported consistently lower levels of happiness across their lives and also reported more life disappointments.
In this way, the suffering of an individual person can be argued to come down to one key factor: how much does this person value happiness? The levels of unhappiness, disappointment, and low life satisfaction can be attributed to this point of view.
A Change in Perspective
As a person searches for happiness, they’re constantly thinking about what they would rather their life be like instead. This breeds resentment and negativity, constantly comparing yourself to those around you who seem better off than you. Those with more money, those with better luck, people who have forged healthy relationships with others.
The contrast between how your life is, against what you want it to be, breeds suffering. Focusing on gratitude instead of what you want but don’t currently have can do wonders for improving your outlook on life. Focusing on what you don’t have breeds unhappiness and resentment. Focusing on what you have and the immense gratitude for it, even if it seems small to you, will do more to put you on the path of happiness than searching for it outright could ever do.
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